Kindness

“I would rather make mistakes in kindness and compassion than work miracles in unkindness and hardness.” ― Mother Teresa

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” ― Plato

Kindness costs nothing but its benefits cannot be measured. 

I need not go somewhere else to quote an example here. I am a good example for this. In many cases, most of the cases when a person gets angry with me I try to explain myself, I try to defend me first without understanding that they are hurt. I have my own alibis every time. Later, I understand the reason why they were seething at me. I try to convince them. I do not get angry when they use hurting words at me too. But I try to narrate my part and explain my side of truth every time. In many cases the fights end up with rancor because of my attitude.

It is never too late that I understood “To Be Kind is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a Brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens. “I may have a valid reason. But when the other person is seething, they are not doing it to prove you are wrong. It would be because they wanted to convey you how much you mean to them. How much your excuses hurt them. Try to understand the love behind every fight. If the reason they fight is not to prove you were wrong, then it is not that your side of explanations are going to help them. It is your love and kindness which you show to them even when they are in their bad state of mind helps.

I've seen people who try to discourage and to bring down everyone around them. To those I would say “Never look down on anybody when you are not intending to helping them up”.

Bear in Mind, Any fool can criticize, condemn, complaint – and most fools do!! But it takes Character and self-control to be understanding and encouraging.

People feel Kindness and Politeness as Overrated. And so they hesitate to use them often. But the fact is they are actually not over rated but under used. A word of Kindness can create confidence and motivate a person which serves as a seed for him to flourish. Kindness in thinking creates positive. Kindness brings love and strength. Through kindness you have the ability to make a profound difference in every life you touch, including your own.  When you guide someone who is lost and confused, when you hold someone who is sad and grieving, when you hug someone who has lost all their hope, you too will feel yourself healing and growing stronger. 

Kind words are short and easy to speak. But their echoes are endless –Mother Teresa has rightly said. Her Kindness is what has given her the special place which none others can ever think of getting. If your Kind words can change people, the way they think and feel, the way they see themselves and the way they interpret the world it means you can change the way they live their lives, and how they affect others. You may not have the power to change the world with your Kind acts. But you can definitely change someone’s world .You can definitely make the world a better place to live in.

Yes! Every one you meet is fighting a harder Battle as you do or even worse.

Treat people as you would love to be treated.

Be genuinely kind to everyone.

Don’t wait for people to be Kind, show them how.

Understand- Kindness does not show your good manners, it shows that you’re humane.

You have changed

“We are done with this. Let’s end here. We cannot be together anymore. Enough is enough. I've adjusted all these years. And no more I can adjust.”  At this minute these lines reflect the thoughts of many people.

I personally know people who are currently undergoing this trauma. This case is not only with husband and wife relationships. I have seen this in every relationship.

I know a girl. She is my neighbour and hers is a love marriage. Both loved each other’s so much and she was adjusting with her husband in every way she could. His love for his wife is ceaseless. To me they both made a quintessential pair. But now her love towards him has reduced. She had to sacrifice at every point. She had to adjust with everyone in the family. She had to let her- self- respect - down for his love.

She did. She did all these for quite some years and has reached a saturation point where she can no more adjust, no more let her- self - respect ruin, and can no more sacrifice her priorities for him or his family. Her life has become miserable now.

One day, I worriedly shared to my brother about her life. About her husband being so egoistic that though he knows her longing, he is not ready to come down for her. He loves her; I have no doubt in it. But his ego means much to him than his Love for her. My Brother who carefully listened to the story what i narrated about her replied “The Change is in the girl. She loved the same egoistic guy who never used to come down for her. She married him happily and felt pleasure even in adjusting for him. The guy is same. He has not changed. The Change is in the girl. So, she has to rectify it. The guy is anyway loving her even now, in the same way “.

This remark from my brother was an aberration to me. She has been hurt. It is true that she considered adjusting for him as a pleasure. But it needn't always remain the same. It needn't always be only that she should adjust in everything for the sake of his Ego. When the guy doesn't respect his wife, how will his family respect her? I don’t say the guy should worship his wife. I am just asking can’t she be given respect as an equal human being. Can’t her words be considered in any one of the family issues?

No! I am not discussing about male chauvinism here. I am speaking about Ego. I am speaking about self respect which everyone has. I am speaking about Change in Human behaviour. People Change! You cannot expect one to remain the same over the years. It cannot always be one sided giving in any relationship. Every relationship has to follow mutual giving. One cannot expect the other to be the giver always. It may be fine in short term. In the long term it never works out so.

In last stage of few Old people I've generally seen the Grandmother never wanted to be with the Grandfather. Reason was she has to do everything to him. She has to listen to whatever he says. She has to be calm however he scolds. She was no more ready to tolerate all these. People tend to Change. Giving and taking should be mutual for a relationship to be long lasting.

Love people. Give them love as much as you can. But, not at the cost of your - self respect. Make them understand your feelings. Love and keep forgiving. Those who are worth would remain with you to make a long-lasting relationship. Those who do not worth will remain as a lesson.

You've been hurt; you've gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today.  Over the years, so many things have happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes nobody stays the same.

When somebody says that “You have changed” Don’t hesitate. Respond to them by saying, “Yes! Of course I've changed.  That’s what life is all about.  I’m still the same human being, just a little stronger now than I ever was before.”

You have changed. And that’s Okay!!

Happiness is your Choice :-)

Hi Friends,

After months I am writing here today.

One of my friends got married recently. Before marriage she had so much to complain about her House Owner, her boss, her relatives and who not? She was never happy. There was no day where she was happy. She never accepted/recognized that she was happy.

Today, after her marriage which is quite few months, I met her. My hope was that she’ll say she is Happy. I wished at least her marriage life should make her feel Happy. But she feels she was happy before her marriage. Though I hoped that she would feel happy, this reply of hers was not a surprise to me. I knew she can never be Happy in her life because she never opted to choose Happiness over other things.

Yes! Happiness is your choice. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude.  A happy person is not a person who is always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation. No one is perfect and thus no one’s Life is. After all, Being Happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It just means you choose to be happy by looking beyond imperfections.

People may try to put you down or hurt you. Smile at those who often try to begrudge or hurt you; show them what’s missing in their life and what they can’t take away from you.  Doing so doesn't mean forgetting or giving in; it means you choose happiness over hurt. Be determined to be positive.

Never have criteria or conditions to feel Happy.  Remember! Happiness is a Journey and not the Destination. Never expect others to give you happiness. It is already within you. You have to just choose it. You cannot keep everyone around you happy. But, you can try your best. In this pursuit of trying, never forget to keep one person happy.

That is “YOU”.

Happiness starts with YOU

Not with your relationships

Not With your Job

Not with Money

But With YOU.