The Kid in you

Hi Friends , it is more than a year since I wrote a post. So a short and quick post to rejuvenate myself :-)

It would be wonderful if this world was guided by little children, because they are closer to life than anyone else- Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.
I have become a mother and so you may think the post is about kid. If so, you are wrong!
Wait ---- Naaaah you are partly correct too. Because am seeing his happiness each day in every thing he does. Walking , jumping and even running is a joy to him. He falls , fails and cries out of joy even after that. He shouts out of sheer joy. He is happy wherever he goes for a simple reason that he is a kid still. 

Not only about him. This post is about each one of us. How happy are we everyday? How much do we really live our life?

As we grow up, we usually try to behave matured. Handle things with maturity. We have wrongly perceived the word “maturity” and killing the kid in us as we grow. In pursuit of being matured we are losing the happiness in each moment.

I have so much of positive people around me. I have happiness around me. When I keenly observe “the happiest” people around me I noticed they derive their happiness from very minute things. No money, no name or fame is needed for their happiness.  They are happy for a simple reason that they keep their Inside child alive and fresh.
We say they are crazy. No! They still keep the kid inside them alive. They are happier than others.  We are trying to hide that kid and behave maturely and searching for happiness.

Inside each one of us lives a child, appreciative of life and curious towards change. One who trusts fully, loves fearlessly, and is able to show emotions, both good and bad. Happiness can be found here. Choose to let this child live each and every day.

 

Wants and Needs !!

Have you ever thought about the difference between need and want?

NEED,  WANT – Such a fine line isn’t it ?

Economics gives you a lengthy description differentiating between the two. Am a Chartered Accountant by profession , but then my area of interest is always psychology. (Never late to take up!) .

Economics did not teach this. Science did not teach this. Religious studies did not teach this. A person who very recently came into my life has taught me this. That very difference between NEED and WANT. Yes ! exactly that thin line .

Wants are nothing but wishes. Wishes are limitless. When we get what we desired, we desire for the next thing. This is endless.

Each relationship is unique. The love we get from each is unique. One cannot replace the other. Every relationship demands some care, responsibility and commitment. No relationship is exception. Each bears its own commitment and responsibility. It is equally true that no relationship can be one- sided. That doesn’t work so in the long span. We have some minimum expectation at least from each relationship. When those wants (i.e. expectations) are not met by the other person, relationship fails.

The Commitment in each relationship is the need. The expectation towards each relationship is want. Sometimes we are so much focused on what we want; we miss the things we need.

There is no tailor made spouse. The concept of  a perfect match is a far-told lie. A relationship lasts as long as the people in that relationship mutually want that to last.

Eventually there came a day where I had to learn this difference between  want and need and the person who taught me the same happens to be my husband  :-)

 He is not a perfect Husband. I am neither a perfect wife for him.  In many instances he has not given me what I wish. Even today at times, he readily says a No- if I ask him for something.

But this MAN of mine has allllwayssss given me what I need. The utmost important thing for a relationship is Love, Care, Trust, Respect and Protection as a husband. He has never missed giving these to me.  Interesting part of this screenplay is- My wishes would be silly ones whereas my needs are the pillars to this relationship of ours. And he knows my needs better than me :-) 

In Life God doesn’t give us the people we want. Instead he gives us the people we need.To teach us , to protect us and to make us exactly the way we should be .

PS : Thank you Sir ji !! Not for teaching the difference but for being a reason behind my blog entry :-P

2015 - A year of learning .

Hi Friends,

2015 has been a great year of learning to me. I just wanted to jot down the lessons learnt this year here.

1.     Be a giver.

Be a Giver- Giver of love, giver of Hope, giver of kindness. My friend usually says “God has correctly placed the Gifting chip in you, except that no chip is working fine “. I laugh and say that is what is required more and that is what has earned me people.

I really don’t give out of expectation. If you do so, it is just an exchange not a gift.

Give generously. Generous people are happy people.

2.     Treat yourself the way you treat your best friend.

I read this topic somewhere and it is thoughtful isn’t it? People who speak very optimistically with so much love and care to their best friends, often miss to give that little kindness to them. You definitely know how much your loving, caring, kind and encouraging words makes a difference in your friend’s life. Then why can’t you apply this demeanour to yourself?

I am a good encourager for others. When it comes to me I turn a pessimist. This year after reading this line- “treat yourself the way you treat your best friend “ I have changed a lot and I respect me which feels good.

3.     Acceptance.

 I said in my previous post. Accept people as they are. Just try loving someone as they are. You will really be astounded to see how they transform as the greatest and truest version of themselves.

4.     Believe in Everything Happens for a reason.

Believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason is for good. Things may not happen as you wish today. Remember, our courage doesn’t always roar aloud.  Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, “I will try again tomorrow.”  Have the mettle to say everything happens for good.  Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

5.     Hospitality is love in action.

I always had a pride that it is our family which is first in hospitality. I always boasted that no one can treat the guests like my parents and their siblings do. But recently I am dumbstruck with the way I was invited to my friend’s place. Really, no riches in the world can equate the warm welcome I received. Their home is small yet I was welcomed like a queen. They do not have a dining table but the food served was sumptuous by itself. They taught me that Hospitality is not inviting people into our perfect homes. It is about inviting people into our perfect hearts. Hospitality is love in action.

With all these lessons and also from a lifetime lesson which is “love is the alpha and omega of our existence” I am eagerly looking forward for 2016.

What did you learn this year? Share your thoughts. 

Acceptance

“Nothing comes easy in this world. Even SANTA comes with a clause”.

When such is the plight in the world the greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance. It is not only a gift to the person whom we accept. It is a gift we give ourselves too. Yes !  Our Happiness is directly proportional to acceptance and inversely proportional to expectations. The more we learn to accept the more people the more we tend to lead a happy life.

Things can be changed. Situations can be changed. But I would say we don’t have any right to change people. You should either accept people for who they are or start living without them in your life. Everyone is a version. There is nothing neither absurd nor normal. Normal is just an illusion. The spider web which seems normal to the spider  is a chaos to a fly. 

You must love a person in such a way that the person you love feels free. Acceptance is the only way to make them feel free.

Acceptance is the one true thing which everyone longs for and every individual craves for. For any relationship acceptance is often more important than understanding. When you accept people, they are real. There is no room for lie. No room to fake.

I have tried this. You would really be astounded to see how a person feels comfortable with you and how true a person can turn out to be. You would really see the better version of that person each day when you start accepting them for what they are.

As Wes Angelozzi rightly said  “Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest and truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered. “

Try this from today and let me know how it works J

I am Back !!

Hi Friends,

I feel great. I feel fresh. And I am back again to blow your mind:-P

I thank each one who sent me messages to write a post. You people awe me with your love :-)

I have so many stories to share with you. To start with here is a small story.

One day a mother with her 5 year old kid went to a grocery shop. This kid has very obedient that the shopkeeper was amazed with her behaviour. He opened a box full of chocolates and asked the kid to take as much as it wants from it.  The kid graciously denied to take chocolates and went behind her mother. The shopkeeper again forced the kid to take some chocolates. This time her mother too asked the kid to take chocolates which that uncle was offering. Mother was really surprised when the kid denied it second time even after when she herself allowed accepting the offer.

The Shopkeeper uncle was very much moved by obedience of this kid and he took a handful of chocolates and forced them to the kid’s hand. The Kid accepted this time with a thanking smile. While walking back home still unable to recover from the surprise, Mother asked “How come you are so obedient today? And why did you deny to take twice but accepted the third time? “

The Kid chuckled and said “I denied twice because that uncle asked me to take as much as I want. If I had taken the chocolates with my hands it would be very less .Now that uncle himself gave with his big hands so I could get more”. She grinned saying this.

This story has something to learn isn't it?. The story is short but it has a huge message . We wish for petty things and get disappointed when they don’t happen. Universe is generous. It gives you more than you desire .It gives what you deserve. Remember! You deserve more than you desire. Without knowing this we ponder upon petty things.

Accept life as it comes. Cosmos has a bigger plan for you than yours. Practice gratitude .Always count on your blessings. Never forget that Happiness is your natural state of being. 

You are Amazing and deserve every bit of wonderful thing that comes to you J . 

You cannot please everyone.

Hi Friends,

  

The Picture above conveys a wonderful message. Isn't it?

You can be the ripest, Juiciest peach in the world and there is still going to be somebody who hates peaches.

You cannot please everyone you see. There are people who dislike you, for whatever you do. They’ll hate you if you are pretty. They’ll hate you if you are not. They’ll hate you for what you lack and they’ll hate you for what you got. You will never be good enough for some people. Ask yourself “ Is this your problem or theirs??”

 When you try to be everything for everyone else, you lose yourself and that is what they wanted in first place.  If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone else, you've already forgotten your value.  Don’t do this to yourself.

Never compare yourself with anyone. Don’t think you want to have so many people loving you as someone else does have. Social comparison is the thief of Happiness. Give your best .Love everyone. Don’t try to be like someone, they aren't you.

Remember, Confidence isn't walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else; it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.

Highly confident people have no interest in pleasing everyone they meet.  They are aware that not all people agree on things, and that’s just how life works.  They focus on the quality of their relationships, instead of the quantity of them.   When you let go of the need to impress everyone, that's when you begin to be truly impressive to the few people who actually matter. 

Treat yourself as the most important person in the world, and treat others as you treat yourself. Having said this, never judge anyone. Judging a person doesn't show who they are it just shows who you are. So pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for whom you want them to be.  Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves, whether you choose to be a part of their life or not.

Start noticing what you like about others and tell them.  Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you. Most important don’t do this to please them, do this because you will feel good after appreciating and encouraging someone. This seems Selfish right? Well, there is no mistake in being selfish when your selfishness is bringing joy to people around you.

Stop living to please everyone and start living in a way which pleases the most important person in the world that is “YOU”. Just be yourself. It will be good to know who is down with that.

Life – As you make it.

As you all are aware, Life is unpredictable - very much unpredictable.

We all die.  The goal isn’t to live forever; the goal is to create something that will… an idea or gesture that helps others live better. 

Don’t wish your life away. Live it. Experience it. Work at it. Everything you go through helps you in growing. Let each day be a scavenger hunt in which you must find at least one of these things: a sincere laugh, an act of kindness, a realization, or a lesson that leads you closer to your dreams.

There is no guarantee that people to whom you are speaking today are going to live tomorrow. Nor there is a guarantee that you are going to live. In last 10 days I've heard of 2 deaths of people who were hale and healthy .Hatred and anger mayor may not ruin the people whom we hate but definitely ruins the person who possess it. Life is short. I cannot afford to give it to hatred and anger.

Never make regrets and guilt as a way of life. You cannot start the next chapter of your life, if you keep re-reading the last one. Move on. Flow with reality, not against it.  And don’t be trying 24/7 to fix everything.  Some things don’t need fixing… they just need acceptance.  What you resist only stays with you longer.  When you fight something, you only make it stronger.  Never force anything.  Give it your best shot, and then let it be.  If it’s meant to be, it will be.  Don’t hold yourself down with things you can’t control.

 

Love people. Love like there’s no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love some more.

Never keep love as conditional clause. It is absurd to say “I love you” - * conditions apply.

Love unconditionally. Love can give memories which no one can steal and also pain which no one can heal. Anyways, love. Love unconditionally.

Live every moment. If you wish to meet a person, go and meet them. If meeting is not possible, make a call and speak to them. Never miss a chance to tell your loved ones, that you love them or miss them. Kiss your loved ones, hug them. Life is too unpredictable to live by schedules.

True! Sometimes we tend to lose people and precious things which we cherished as ours.  When your own life is not permanent, how can you expect people or other valuable things which remain in your life for time being as permanent? Everything happens for a reason. Every person comes into your life for a purpose. Never make your happiness dependent on anyone.

Life does not come with a user manual. Live as you wish. Act crazily. Sing loud. Dance wild. At the end it’s not what the world takes away from you that count; it’s what you do with what you have left.

Click sooooooo many pictures. Create memories. “ Life is like a camera, Focus on what is important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives and if things don’t work out. Take another shot J “

 Stay Green! Keep Loving !

What others think about you?

Ethel Barrett once said, “We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.”

In each little thing we do, we often tend to think as how others might think. If you ask my granny to dance, she would love to dance but then comes her fear as “what others might think if I dance at this age? People would laugh”.

I’ve seen my friends in class who would hesitate to ask doubts in their subjects thinking others would laugh at their silly doubts. Hey! It may be silly to them. But you have a doubt and try asking it next time. Just see, how many would join you for that simple doubt. Even they were hesitant to ask as you did. Once you stand up and ask that doubt slowly others would raise their hands and join you.

No one denies if I say childhood was the best part of life. Childhood days- where we did not bother as to how people think about us. Where we did everything we wanted exactly in the way we wanted it to be done. Be it right or wrong, good or bad, extraordinary or poor we did it as we loved it. Till date that stays as the best part of our lives. 

Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved.  How people perceive you may have more to do with them than you anyway.  Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t even thinking about you.

Get comfortable with not knowing what other people think. They may even like or dislike you simply because you’ve triggered an association in their minds by reminding them of someone they liked or disliked from their past, which has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is their worry and not yours.

Every individual are unique. Whatever you do, few would love them and few would hate them. It is their problem in any case. Understand people out there are equally busy as you do. When you are dealing with your weirdness here, everyone around you are dealing with their own. If you fear that someone is judging you, it is your own illusion. It’s you judging yourself that’s the problem.

As I said every individual are unique in their own way. Don’t try to be normal. There is no such thing in real. What seems normal to you will be weird to others. Life is all about spending it in your own way.  Always be yourself and walk comfortably in your own shoes. 

The more relaxed you become with your own differences, the more comfortable you will start to feel just being YOU. Celebrate being different. Anyone who tells you you’re doing it wrong… is wrong. When everyone laughs at you for being different, you laugh louder because they are all the same.

How others see you is not important.  How you see yourself means the world. 

If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in.  But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are.

Its been long that i posted here. Sorry guys, I was busy in my own wierd world :-P ;-)

Kindness

“I would rather make mistakes in kindness and compassion than work miracles in unkindness and hardness.” ― Mother Teresa

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” ― Plato

Kindness costs nothing but its benefits cannot be measured. 

I need not go somewhere else to quote an example here. I am a good example for this. In many cases, most of the cases when a person gets angry with me I try to explain myself, I try to defend me first without understanding that they are hurt. I have my own alibis every time. Later, I understand the reason why they were seething at me. I try to convince them. I do not get angry when they use hurting words at me too. But I try to narrate my part and explain my side of truth every time. In many cases the fights end up with rancor because of my attitude.

It is never too late that I understood “To Be Kind is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a Brilliant mind that speaks but a special heart that listens. “I may have a valid reason. But when the other person is seething, they are not doing it to prove you are wrong. It would be because they wanted to convey you how much you mean to them. How much your excuses hurt them. Try to understand the love behind every fight. If the reason they fight is not to prove you were wrong, then it is not that your side of explanations are going to help them. It is your love and kindness which you show to them even when they are in their bad state of mind helps.

I've seen people who try to discourage and to bring down everyone around them. To those I would say “Never look down on anybody when you are not intending to helping them up”.

Bear in Mind, Any fool can criticize, condemn, complaint – and most fools do!! But it takes Character and self-control to be understanding and encouraging.

People feel Kindness and Politeness as Overrated. And so they hesitate to use them often. But the fact is they are actually not over rated but under used. A word of Kindness can create confidence and motivate a person which serves as a seed for him to flourish. Kindness in thinking creates positive. Kindness brings love and strength. Through kindness you have the ability to make a profound difference in every life you touch, including your own.  When you guide someone who is lost and confused, when you hold someone who is sad and grieving, when you hug someone who has lost all their hope, you too will feel yourself healing and growing stronger. 

Kind words are short and easy to speak. But their echoes are endless –Mother Teresa has rightly said. Her Kindness is what has given her the special place which none others can ever think of getting. If your Kind words can change people, the way they think and feel, the way they see themselves and the way they interpret the world it means you can change the way they live their lives, and how they affect others. You may not have the power to change the world with your Kind acts. But you can definitely change someone’s world .You can definitely make the world a better place to live in.

Yes! Every one you meet is fighting a harder Battle as you do or even worse.

Treat people as you would love to be treated.

Be genuinely kind to everyone.

Don’t wait for people to be Kind, show them how.

Understand- Kindness does not show your good manners, it shows that you’re humane.

Happiness is your Choice :-)

Hi Friends,

After months I am writing here today.

One of my friends got married recently. Before marriage she had so much to complain about her House Owner, her boss, her relatives and who not? She was never happy. There was no day where she was happy. She never accepted/recognized that she was happy.

Today, after her marriage which is quite few months, I met her. My hope was that she’ll say she is Happy. I wished at least her marriage life should make her feel Happy. But she feels she was happy before her marriage. Though I hoped that she would feel happy, this reply of hers was not a surprise to me. I knew she can never be Happy in her life because she never opted to choose Happiness over other things.

Yes! Happiness is your choice. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude.  A happy person is not a person who is always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation. No one is perfect and thus no one’s Life is. After all, Being Happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It just means you choose to be happy by looking beyond imperfections.

People may try to put you down or hurt you. Smile at those who often try to begrudge or hurt you; show them what’s missing in their life and what they can’t take away from you.  Doing so doesn't mean forgetting or giving in; it means you choose happiness over hurt. Be determined to be positive.

Never have criteria or conditions to feel Happy.  Remember! Happiness is a Journey and not the Destination. Never expect others to give you happiness. It is already within you. You have to just choose it. You cannot keep everyone around you happy. But, you can try your best. In this pursuit of trying, never forget to keep one person happy.

That is “YOU”.

Happiness starts with YOU

Not with your relationships

Not With your Job

Not with Money

But With YOU.

Be Yourself !!

Hi Friends,

I have seen people adjusting to get love. Everyone tend to change for their loved ones. Changing for loved ones is not wrong. But do these changes last long?  Well, if it is a from-heart- change out of realization, perhaps the change will last longer. But when the change is to satisfy others would that last long?  When you are forcefully trying to change yourself, will you be happy with that change? Truth is, you pretend to be normal with that change, and when it is boring you go back to yourself.

Many people fail to understand that when you forcefully change yourself and get love, you are not getting that love for ‘whom you actually are instead it is for who you act like’. The love you get is true. But it is not for you. Isn't that better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not?

Accept people as they are. Problem with human mind is –We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are .Don’t try to change them. Each individual is unique. There may be similarities but not alike. Don’t expect people to play someone’s role. They would be best when they play their own roles.

As we all know, Change is the only thing which cannot be changed. Each one of us undergoes change. Change in appearance, in behaviour, in attitude, in character, in level of maturity and everything. The changes should be a natural one. With each phase of life people change, those changes are natural. Those changes are to be cherished.

Don’t force yourself to change for someone. Rather be honest to yourself than to impress someone. People who truly love you will always stay with you. I am blessed that I have people who truly love me and people who accept me as I am.

Life is short. Nothing lasts forever

So live it up, drink it down and laugh it off.

Avoid the bull shit,

Take chances and never have regrets

Because at one point, everything you did was

Exactly what you wanted  J

 

LOVE

People wait

all week for Friday,

all year for summer ,

all life for Happiness.

Yesterday a friend of mine said I have reduced weight. After a gala dance in heart and hiding that ecstasy I said “No I have not reduced weight. May be you feel so “. She is a well wisher of mine. So again she asked me “Do you have anything which worries you much? Is that the reason you seem to lose weight?” Without even thinking a moment I replied “I am surrounded only by people who love me. I have nothing to worry about. In fact they are there to worry for me. I am mess. So sometimes I myself ponder upon a thing and start worrying about it, which would be petty issues at the end. But Frankly speaking, I have nothing to worry about “

She was happy with my reply. Ha! After giving that reply I was also happy. As if she readily understood my mind, she said “Yeah! You have a loving family with a wonderful bonding and hence they will take care of you”. Sometimes I won’t let the other person to interpret more. So interrupting her I said “True. But it is not the family alone. It is my friends and their relatives. It is also my acquaintances love me and that is the reason I am not worried at anything. “

I am blessed. I have so many people to love me. I give and in turn get lots of love from everyone. What you sow, so you reap. I accept the fact that I am happy. The simple acceptance boosts me so much and energises me.

This is a reply perhaps she did not expect.  Immediately a poet in Tamil literature flashed in my mind.

The poet was an aged man but his looks were young and he did not have even a single grey hair. (Wait! Those days there was no dye). When a learned man asked the poet reason for his young look, this was his reply:

It is because my wife is virtuous, my children have gone far in learning,
my servants do what I wish, my king protects me.

Also, in my town there are many noble men who are wise and have self-control. 

Wow! I appreciate my memory. Now, coming to the point, the poet has quoted so many reasons for him being happy. He considers his entire town and men living there, his king for his happiness. But, these days happiness is much concentrated on self. Even then, people fail to accept that they are happy.

One day when I was conversing with another friend of mine, she told me People would feel jealous if we say we are happy. So she never says that she is so happy to anyone. What I feel is, when you say you are happy, the word impacts you. It brings joy; it would make you feel happy.

Feel the love everywhere. World is meant to be loved and lived. Don’t wait anymore.

“The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now.” -Robert G. Ingersoll

How to make people Love you.

Recently I read a book written by Dale Carnegie. A book on how to influence people.

Childhood is the age we dare to dream. One such dream of mine was to become a Psychologist. I love reading people and their mind. In that age my thought was a psychologist is a magician who sees people’s heart with X-ray glass :-P. It is short story why I could not achieve that dream. Lets have that for another post.

I digress. How to influence people??

If I ask you a question as who is the person so close to you?

Most often the answer would be name of the person to whom we share everything. Isn’t it?   Yes. The person whom we consider close is the one with whom we can share anything. More than sharing, they are the people who readily hear whatever you say.

I’ll repeat again:”They are the people who readily hear whatever you say”.

 Hearing is a great gift from God. You may be capable of hearing but what is required is the quality of listening. People often tend to ignore when others speak and fail to listen. When you listen what the other person is sharing with genuine interest you will become the person they trust.

6 ways to make people like you :

1. Become genuinely interested in other people :Don’t act. Be sincere. Show genuine interest in what the other person speaks. 

2. Smile: Dale Carengie says “Smile is your messenger of goodwill. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away , your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.” 

3.  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.When  you first meet a person , know their name. However hard may be, remember that name. If it is hard to remember write that name few times and you’ll remember. 

      For months before Roosevelt's campaign for President began, Jim Farley wrote hundreds of letters a day to people all over the western and northwestern states. Then he hopped onto a train and in nineteen days covered twenty states and twelve thousand miles,traveling by buggy, train, automobile and boat. He would drop into town, meet his people at lunch or breakfast, tea or dinner, and give them a "heart-to-heart talk." Then he'd dash off again on another leg of his journey.

        As soon as he arrived back East, he wrote to one person in each town he had visited, asking for a list of all the guests to whom he had talked. The final list contained thousands and thousands of

names; yet each person on that list was paid the subtle flattery of getting a personal letter from James Farley. These letters began "Dear Bill" or "Dear Jane," and they were always signed "Jim."

Jim knew that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound.

Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it - and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage. 

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. 

5. Talk-in terms of other people’s interest. I’ll tell you, no one is interested in your story and history. Let the other person speak.Speak his areas of interest.
6. Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely. 

 Other points worth noting :

·                     Remember Birthdays,

·                     Greet people with animation and enthusiasm

·                     Appreciate people – not flattery.

            The next time you enjoy a good idly/dosa at (say) hotel Saravana bhavan, send word to the chef that it was excellently prepared, and when a tired  salesperson shows you unusual courtesy, please mention it.

·                     Show gratitude

Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily

trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.

·                     Show true love –Don’t fake

Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn't

have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.

It never read a book of Psychology.  It knew by some divine instinct that it can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

            More than influencing people , I wish relationships should be true and genuine. Hope this post would help a bit for it.