Recently I read a book written by Dale Carnegie. A book on
how to influence people.
Childhood is the age we dare to dream. One such dream of
mine was to become a Psychologist. I love reading people and their mind. In
that age my thought was a psychologist is a magician who sees people’s heart
with X-ray glass :-P. It is short story why I could not achieve that dream. Lets
have that for another post.
I digress. How to influence people??
If I ask you a question as who is the person so close to
you?
Most often the answer would be name of the person to whom we
share everything. Isn’t it? Yes. The person whom we consider close is the
one with whom we can share anything. More than sharing, they are the people who
readily hear whatever you say.
I’ll repeat again:”They
are the people who readily hear whatever you say”.
Hearing is a great
gift from God. You may be capable of hearing but what is required is the
quality of listening. People often tend to ignore when others speak and fail to
listen. When you listen what the other person is sharing with genuine interest
you will become the person they trust.
6 ways to make people like you :
- Become genuinely interested in other people :Don’t act. Be sincere. Show genuine interest in what the other person speaks.
- Smile: Dale Carengie says “Smile is your messenger of goodwill. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away , your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.”
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.When you first meet a person , know their name. However hard may be, remember that name. If it is hard to remember write that name few times and you’ll remember.
For months before Roosevelt 's
campaign for President began, Jim Farley wrote hundreds of letters a day to people all over
the western and northwestern states. Then he hopped onto a train and
in nineteen days covered twenty states and twelve thousand
miles,traveling by buggy, train, automobile and boat. He would
drop into town, meet his people at lunch or breakfast, tea or
dinner, and give them a "heart-to-heart talk." Then he'd dash off
again on another leg of his journey.
As soon as he arrived back East, he wrote to one person in
each town he had visited, asking for a list of all the guests
to whom he had talked. The final list contained thousands and
thousands of
names; yet each person on that list was paid the subtle
flattery of getting a personal letter from James Farley. These letters
began "Dear Bill" or "Dear
Jane," and they were always signed "Jim."
Jim knew that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound.
Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But
forget it or misspell it - and you have placed yourself at a sharp
disadvantage.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk-in terms of other people’s interest. I’ll tell you, no one is interested in your story and history. Let the other person speak.Speak his areas of interest.
- Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
Other points worth noting :
·
Remember Birthdays,
·
Greet people with animation and enthusiasm
·
Appreciate people – not flattery.
The next
time you enjoy a good idly/dosa at (say) hotel Saravana bhavan, send word to
the chef that it was excellently prepared, and when a tired salesperson shows you unusual courtesy, please
mention it.
·
Show gratitude
Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of
gratitude on your daily
trips. You will be surprised how they will set small
flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.
·
Show true love –Don’t fake
Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only
animal that doesn't
have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow
has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by
giving you nothing but love.
It never read a book of Psychology. It knew by some
divine instinct that it can make more friends in two months by becoming
genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get
other people interested in you.
