Relationships

Hi Friends,

“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together”.

Yesterday when I had a chat with my friend, we discussed essentials for a relationship. Given here are few things which we consider as essentials. Actually a relationship involves a lot more inputs than given here.

1    Compromise.

It is better to bend a Little than to break.

Life is filled with compromises. The strength of a relationship not only lies in love but also in communication and compromises made. I've seen best buddies fighting with each other and wait for the other to speak. Compromising is not weakness. In fact I feel only the strong people can come down and compromise. They are strong enough to let go their Ego for the sake of friendship/ relationship which matters more.

No relationship is perfect, ever.  True love isn't found. It is built. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater. The love is bigger than these small differences which causes disagreements.

Be the first to compromise. Be the strong person to let go your ego for relationship.

2.     Communicate

After every compromise, make the other person understand what you have gone through, how you have felt and let them know how much you have come down for his/her love. Communications should always be strong for any relationship.You have to express your views and express yourself to the other person.

Don’t expect the important people in your life to read your mind. True! There are people who can even understand your silence. Yes. This person whom you love will also be able to understand your silence. It all needs time. In the beginning any relationship needs so much of sacrifices, compromises and communication to reach that point where even your silence communicates your message to them.

Listen without defending and speak without offending.  Communication isn't just an important part of a relationship, it is the relationship.  Relationships often fail because of trust issues, commitment issues, and above all, communication issues. So never hide or fear. Express yourself. Communicate without offending.

3.    Choose Love as your weapon.

     Love can change anyone in this world. Always choose love over your anger.

Patience pays. Never take anger as your weapon. People who have love as their weapon can win any number of battles in life. A word of anger destroys 1000 good things done by you. Remember this. Never speak when you are anger. Take time. Be calm. Then speak to the person. Sit and resolve. If the other person is yelling at you in anger, remember! Anger is a cry for need of recognition. Many don’t understand this. They need your love. They need your recognition. Heal them with your love.

 4.     Accept and don’t expect.

Never expect others to change for you. Either you accept people as they are or you move on without them. We often tend to be sculptors, often carving out of others the image of what we want them to be. No. It doesn't suit them. Love the person as he/she is. You cannot expect a person to be as you are. If that is the case, you will end up loving your own reflection and not anyone else.

As I said in the beginning a relationship needs more input than the one which we discussed. You can very well add your inputs here. Floor is yours...

What others think about you?

Ethel Barrett once said, “We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.”

In each little thing we do, we often tend to think as how others might think. If you ask my granny to dance, she would love to dance but then comes her fear as “what others might think if I dance at this age? People would laugh”.

I’ve seen my friends in class who would hesitate to ask doubts in their subjects thinking others would laugh at their silly doubts. Hey! It may be silly to them. But you have a doubt and try asking it next time. Just see, how many would join you for that simple doubt. Even they were hesitant to ask as you did. Once you stand up and ask that doubt slowly others would raise their hands and join you.

No one denies if I say childhood was the best part of life. Childhood days- where we did not bother as to how people think about us. Where we did everything we wanted exactly in the way we wanted it to be done. Be it right or wrong, good or bad, extraordinary or poor we did it as we loved it. Till date that stays as the best part of our lives. 

Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved.  How people perceive you may have more to do with them than you anyway.  Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t even thinking about you.

Get comfortable with not knowing what other people think. They may even like or dislike you simply because you’ve triggered an association in their minds by reminding them of someone they liked or disliked from their past, which has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is their worry and not yours.

Every individual are unique. Whatever you do, few would love them and few would hate them. It is their problem in any case. Understand people out there are equally busy as you do. When you are dealing with your weirdness here, everyone around you are dealing with their own. If you fear that someone is judging you, it is your own illusion. It’s you judging yourself that’s the problem.

As I said every individual are unique in their own way. Don’t try to be normal. There is no such thing in real. What seems normal to you will be weird to others. Life is all about spending it in your own way.  Always be yourself and walk comfortably in your own shoes. 

The more relaxed you become with your own differences, the more comfortable you will start to feel just being YOU. Celebrate being different. Anyone who tells you you’re doing it wrong… is wrong. When everyone laughs at you for being different, you laugh louder because they are all the same.

How others see you is not important.  How you see yourself means the world. 

If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in.  But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are.

Its been long that i posted here. Sorry guys, I was busy in my own wierd world :-P ;-)