If I could tell a Story...

Dear Friends,

Just a gist about THE MAN I admire - My Appa (i.e.My Father -in-law)

If I could tell a story

It would be the greatest ever told

For it is about my Appa

Who has a heart of gold

He has faced all the problems thrown at him

Thinking of which makes eyes wet and brim

Labored under his own sister

For which even today he is grateful

that they paid his education fee

After all his sisters marriage even with full of debts like a Hero he stood

Without any disparage he gave all that he could

At the age of 30 when he became arthritic

He never chose worry or misery

Instead he boosted his Self-confidence

Today at the age of 65 he has built a legacy

 which is not by mere coincidence.

He does not have the strength of a normal man,

But the size of his heart could crush any herculean man

He doesn’t wear a cape or a mask, he hasn’t any super power

But ask his loved ones, he was there in their darkest hour.

He never looks for praises

He’s never one to boast

He just goes on quietly working

For those he loves the most.

If I could tell a story

It would be the greatest ever told

For it is about my Appa

Who has a heart of gold

Wants and Needs !!

Have you ever thought about the difference between need and want?

NEED,  WANT – Such a fine line isn’t it ?

Economics gives you a lengthy description differentiating between the two. Am a Chartered Accountant by profession , but then my area of interest is always psychology. (Never late to take up!) .

Economics did not teach this. Science did not teach this. Religious studies did not teach this. A person who very recently came into my life has taught me this. That very difference between NEED and WANT. Yes ! exactly that thin line .

Wants are nothing but wishes. Wishes are limitless. When we get what we desired, we desire for the next thing. This is endless.

Each relationship is unique. The love we get from each is unique. One cannot replace the other. Every relationship demands some care, responsibility and commitment. No relationship is exception. Each bears its own commitment and responsibility. It is equally true that no relationship can be one- sided. That doesn’t work so in the long span. We have some minimum expectation at least from each relationship. When those wants (i.e. expectations) are not met by the other person, relationship fails.

The Commitment in each relationship is the need. The expectation towards each relationship is want. Sometimes we are so much focused on what we want; we miss the things we need.

There is no tailor made spouse. The concept of  a perfect match is a far-told lie. A relationship lasts as long as the people in that relationship mutually want that to last.

Eventually there came a day where I had to learn this difference between  want and need and the person who taught me the same happens to be my husband  :-)

 He is not a perfect Husband. I am neither a perfect wife for him.  In many instances he has not given me what I wish. Even today at times, he readily says a No- if I ask him for something.

But this MAN of mine has allllwayssss given me what I need. The utmost important thing for a relationship is Love, Care, Trust, Respect and Protection as a husband. He has never missed giving these to me.  Interesting part of this screenplay is- My wishes would be silly ones whereas my needs are the pillars to this relationship of ours. And he knows my needs better than me :-) 

In Life God doesn’t give us the people we want. Instead he gives us the people we need.To teach us , to protect us and to make us exactly the way we should be .

PS : Thank you Sir ji !! Not for teaching the difference but for being a reason behind my blog entry :-P

2015 - A year of learning .

Hi Friends,

2015 has been a great year of learning to me. I just wanted to jot down the lessons learnt this year here.

1.     Be a giver.

Be a Giver- Giver of love, giver of Hope, giver of kindness. My friend usually says “God has correctly placed the Gifting chip in you, except that no chip is working fine “. I laugh and say that is what is required more and that is what has earned me people.

I really don’t give out of expectation. If you do so, it is just an exchange not a gift.

Give generously. Generous people are happy people.

2.     Treat yourself the way you treat your best friend.

I read this topic somewhere and it is thoughtful isn’t it? People who speak very optimistically with so much love and care to their best friends, often miss to give that little kindness to them. You definitely know how much your loving, caring, kind and encouraging words makes a difference in your friend’s life. Then why can’t you apply this demeanour to yourself?

I am a good encourager for others. When it comes to me I turn a pessimist. This year after reading this line- “treat yourself the way you treat your best friend “ I have changed a lot and I respect me which feels good.

3.     Acceptance.

 I said in my previous post. Accept people as they are. Just try loving someone as they are. You will really be astounded to see how they transform as the greatest and truest version of themselves.

4.     Believe in Everything Happens for a reason.

Believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason is for good. Things may not happen as you wish today. Remember, our courage doesn’t always roar aloud.  Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, “I will try again tomorrow.”  Have the mettle to say everything happens for good.  Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

5.     Hospitality is love in action.

I always had a pride that it is our family which is first in hospitality. I always boasted that no one can treat the guests like my parents and their siblings do. But recently I am dumbstruck with the way I was invited to my friend’s place. Really, no riches in the world can equate the warm welcome I received. Their home is small yet I was welcomed like a queen. They do not have a dining table but the food served was sumptuous by itself. They taught me that Hospitality is not inviting people into our perfect homes. It is about inviting people into our perfect hearts. Hospitality is love in action.

With all these lessons and also from a lifetime lesson which is “love is the alpha and omega of our existence” I am eagerly looking forward for 2016.

What did you learn this year? Share your thoughts.