How to make people Love you.

Recently I read a book written by Dale Carnegie. A book on how to influence people.

Childhood is the age we dare to dream. One such dream of mine was to become a Psychologist. I love reading people and their mind. In that age my thought was a psychologist is a magician who sees people’s heart with X-ray glass :-P. It is short story why I could not achieve that dream. Lets have that for another post.

I digress. How to influence people??

If I ask you a question as who is the person so close to you?

Most often the answer would be name of the person to whom we share everything. Isn’t it?   Yes. The person whom we consider close is the one with whom we can share anything. More than sharing, they are the people who readily hear whatever you say.

I’ll repeat again:”They are the people who readily hear whatever you say”.

 Hearing is a great gift from God. You may be capable of hearing but what is required is the quality of listening. People often tend to ignore when others speak and fail to listen. When you listen what the other person is sharing with genuine interest you will become the person they trust.

6 ways to make people like you :

1. Become genuinely interested in other people :Don’t act. Be sincere. Show genuine interest in what the other person speaks. 

2. Smile: Dale Carengie says “Smile is your messenger of goodwill. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away , your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.” 

3.  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.When  you first meet a person , know their name. However hard may be, remember that name. If it is hard to remember write that name few times and you’ll remember. 

      For months before Roosevelt's campaign for President began, Jim Farley wrote hundreds of letters a day to people all over the western and northwestern states. Then he hopped onto a train and in nineteen days covered twenty states and twelve thousand miles,traveling by buggy, train, automobile and boat. He would drop into town, meet his people at lunch or breakfast, tea or dinner, and give them a "heart-to-heart talk." Then he'd dash off again on another leg of his journey.

        As soon as he arrived back East, he wrote to one person in each town he had visited, asking for a list of all the guests to whom he had talked. The final list contained thousands and thousands of

names; yet each person on that list was paid the subtle flattery of getting a personal letter from James Farley. These letters began "Dear Bill" or "Dear Jane," and they were always signed "Jim."

Jim knew that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound.

Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it - and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage. 

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. 

5. Talk-in terms of other people’s interest. I’ll tell you, no one is interested in your story and history. Let the other person speak.Speak his areas of interest.
6. Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely. 

 Other points worth noting :

·                     Remember Birthdays,

·                     Greet people with animation and enthusiasm

·                     Appreciate people – not flattery.

            The next time you enjoy a good idly/dosa at (say) hotel Saravana bhavan, send word to the chef that it was excellently prepared, and when a tired  salesperson shows you unusual courtesy, please mention it.

·                     Show gratitude

Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily

trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.

·                     Show true love –Don’t fake

Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn't

have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.

It never read a book of Psychology.  It knew by some divine instinct that it can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

            More than influencing people , I wish relationships should be true and genuine. Hope this post would help a bit for it.