A letter to my Son

It has been 2 sweet years 24 happy months 104 fun-filled weeks and 730 precious days. My day is never complete without your smile. There were and still there are days where we play the whole night and together get up late in the morning😀. In that way I am solely responsible for your late mornings😀.  I am that kind of a mom who is good enough to spoil you here and there.

In these days you have poured and drenched me with your love. Each day your love for me is growing and of course mine for you too. Every time you call “Amma” is such a sweet melody I have ever heard trust me. Sometimes I doubt myself whether I deserve this mammoth amount of pure love that too unconditionally.  The way you hold my cheeks and kiss and the way you place your face on mine and sleep are the treasured memories my little man. When you see me shouting out of pain the tears in your eyes are uncontrollable. I am blessed to have you in my life. Our time at Park is absolutely ours :-) No one can pervade. How you enjoy each game there is something I relish watching.

In these 2 years you have learned so much. You make sentences on your own, you imitate and you know the capitals of each state baby! That’s amazing. More than all these you have taught us so much. You have taught us to be happy always, smiling for no reason, loving unconditionally, forgetting the bad things easily and many many more. Thanks a ton Kandha for all that you have taught .

From the day you were born your wants keep changing and You want me in different ways at each stage. I am cherishing every stage with you my Champ. You have started beating me for everything. Either you are happy or sad. You have me to beat! Now you want me in this way😝 as I am that idi-thaangi according you😕.

I have written some posts as a blogger and some poems on my loving ones too. Whenever I sit down to write about you words fall short and thwart from writing. Hellen Keller was right when she said “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”. That is true in our case. Our love for each other cannot be put into words but it is the most experiential one in my life. But on your birthday my son I wanted to tell how much you mean to me.
You are the lyric of sweetest melody and energetic rap of my life
You are the greatest strength and biggest weakness my life.
You are the beginning of dawn of end of dusk my life.
You are the warmest soother and fastest agitator of my life.
You are the reason which keeps me endured and reason for me to give up.

As you are growing and developing your own personality traits I am marveling at how incredible as a person you are! I am eagerly awaiting for the tremendous two moments with you. We will have more fun, more laughter and more memories together Ambachha. And definitely you are gonna grow more uniquely you. As you grow my heart grows along that my love covers each new inch of you too.

As you go through life you will meet various kinds of people, you will face various challenges. But I wish you to remain yourself.  Life may not always turn out to be a Bed of roses. But as a mother I promise, I will always be there to remove the thorns in your Bed. All that I feel now is privileged to be your mom. Happy Birthday my Little Man.

Saturday Musings

Ssssshh!!!!  The kid is there.  Mind your tongue.

Don’t speak whatever comes to your mind. Your child is watching.  Look at your actions. Your child doesn’t listen to what you speak but notice and repeat what you do. And many many more.

Often a person who is liberal and doesn’t mind what others think about them becomes so very cautious about them after a kid is born. They become responsible not only for their actions but also for kids’.

I am also one among many of so called “world-revolves-around-kid” type mom.  But then, recently when I was travelling in metro to my workplace.  I am sorry to say this, but I overheard the conversation (not intentionally) of group of same type of moms.

They were all going to an occasion organized a common friend who has never bothered to attend any of her other friend’s function. I was wondering as what could be the reason to attend such a person’s family function . So now I intentionally started to overhear their conversation. They all needed a reason to go out together.  They chit chatted about their good old days. Their college, the friends, the teachers and how those teachers dressed up, whom they admired the most etc .

As the conversation continued they all started making fun at each other and started living their good old days . They mentioned that “we cannot speak whatever we speak among friends at home as in laws and children would be watching us”. The moment I heard those words I remembered how I have turned out now. I have forgotten who I used to be and now when I think about me I am always reminded that I am a mother and no other identity.

I miss those good old days. I miss the long chats and calls. I miss being in person to whoever was in need of me. I miss being a listener and comforter. I totally miss being me. 

But this is a phase.

My Kid will eventually learn to dress himself.

And sleep in big bed.

He will potty train

And read and write.

He will make friends

And be independent.

But what he won’t do is be with me forever.

And be a child always.

So every mamma out there …. Enjoy the present. The future will happen, I promise.

The Kid in you

Hi Friends , it is more than a year since I wrote a post. So a short and quick post to rejuvenate myself :-)

It would be wonderful if this world was guided by little children, because they are closer to life than anyone else- Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.
I have become a mother and so you may think the post is about kid. If so, you are wrong!
Wait ---- Naaaah you are partly correct too. Because am seeing his happiness each day in every thing he does. Walking , jumping and even running is a joy to him. He falls , fails and cries out of joy even after that. He shouts out of sheer joy. He is happy wherever he goes for a simple reason that he is a kid still. 

Not only about him. This post is about each one of us. How happy are we everyday? How much do we really live our life?

As we grow up, we usually try to behave matured. Handle things with maturity. We have wrongly perceived the word “maturity” and killing the kid in us as we grow. In pursuit of being matured we are losing the happiness in each moment.

I have so much of positive people around me. I have happiness around me. When I keenly observe “the happiest” people around me I noticed they derive their happiness from very minute things. No money, no name or fame is needed for their happiness.  They are happy for a simple reason that they keep their Inside child alive and fresh.
We say they are crazy. No! They still keep the kid inside them alive. They are happier than others.  We are trying to hide that kid and behave maturely and searching for happiness.

Inside each one of us lives a child, appreciative of life and curious towards change. One who trusts fully, loves fearlessly, and is able to show emotions, both good and bad. Happiness can be found here. Choose to let this child live each and every day.

 

If I could tell a Story...

Dear Friends,

Just a gist about THE MAN I admire - My Appa (i.e.My Father -in-law)

If I could tell a story

It would be the greatest ever told

For it is about my Appa

Who has a heart of gold

He has faced all the problems thrown at him

Thinking of which makes eyes wet and brim

Labored under his own sister

For which even today he is grateful

that they paid his education fee

After all his sisters marriage even with full of debts like a Hero he stood

Without any disparage he gave all that he could

At the age of 30 when he became arthritic

He never chose worry or misery

Instead he boosted his Self-confidence

Today at the age of 65 he has built a legacy

 which is not by mere coincidence.

He does not have the strength of a normal man,

But the size of his heart could crush any herculean man

He doesn’t wear a cape or a mask, he hasn’t any super power

But ask his loved ones, he was there in their darkest hour.

He never looks for praises

He’s never one to boast

He just goes on quietly working

For those he loves the most.

If I could tell a story

It would be the greatest ever told

For it is about my Appa

Who has a heart of gold

Wants and Needs !!

Have you ever thought about the difference between need and want?

NEED,  WANT – Such a fine line isn’t it ?

Economics gives you a lengthy description differentiating between the two. Am a Chartered Accountant by profession , but then my area of interest is always psychology. (Never late to take up!) .

Economics did not teach this. Science did not teach this. Religious studies did not teach this. A person who very recently came into my life has taught me this. That very difference between NEED and WANT. Yes ! exactly that thin line .

Wants are nothing but wishes. Wishes are limitless. When we get what we desired, we desire for the next thing. This is endless.

Each relationship is unique. The love we get from each is unique. One cannot replace the other. Every relationship demands some care, responsibility and commitment. No relationship is exception. Each bears its own commitment and responsibility. It is equally true that no relationship can be one- sided. That doesn’t work so in the long span. We have some minimum expectation at least from each relationship. When those wants (i.e. expectations) are not met by the other person, relationship fails.

The Commitment in each relationship is the need. The expectation towards each relationship is want. Sometimes we are so much focused on what we want; we miss the things we need.

There is no tailor made spouse. The concept of  a perfect match is a far-told lie. A relationship lasts as long as the people in that relationship mutually want that to last.

Eventually there came a day where I had to learn this difference between  want and need and the person who taught me the same happens to be my husband  :-)

 He is not a perfect Husband. I am neither a perfect wife for him.  In many instances he has not given me what I wish. Even today at times, he readily says a No- if I ask him for something.

But this MAN of mine has allllwayssss given me what I need. The utmost important thing for a relationship is Love, Care, Trust, Respect and Protection as a husband. He has never missed giving these to me.  Interesting part of this screenplay is- My wishes would be silly ones whereas my needs are the pillars to this relationship of ours. And he knows my needs better than me :-) 

In Life God doesn’t give us the people we want. Instead he gives us the people we need.To teach us , to protect us and to make us exactly the way we should be .

PS : Thank you Sir ji !! Not for teaching the difference but for being a reason behind my blog entry :-P

2015 - A year of learning .

Hi Friends,

2015 has been a great year of learning to me. I just wanted to jot down the lessons learnt this year here.

1.     Be a giver.

Be a Giver- Giver of love, giver of Hope, giver of kindness. My friend usually says “God has correctly placed the Gifting chip in you, except that no chip is working fine “. I laugh and say that is what is required more and that is what has earned me people.

I really don’t give out of expectation. If you do so, it is just an exchange not a gift.

Give generously. Generous people are happy people.

2.     Treat yourself the way you treat your best friend.

I read this topic somewhere and it is thoughtful isn’t it? People who speak very optimistically with so much love and care to their best friends, often miss to give that little kindness to them. You definitely know how much your loving, caring, kind and encouraging words makes a difference in your friend’s life. Then why can’t you apply this demeanour to yourself?

I am a good encourager for others. When it comes to me I turn a pessimist. This year after reading this line- “treat yourself the way you treat your best friend “ I have changed a lot and I respect me which feels good.

3.     Acceptance.

 I said in my previous post. Accept people as they are. Just try loving someone as they are. You will really be astounded to see how they transform as the greatest and truest version of themselves.

4.     Believe in Everything Happens for a reason.

Believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason is for good. Things may not happen as you wish today. Remember, our courage doesn’t always roar aloud.  Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, “I will try again tomorrow.”  Have the mettle to say everything happens for good.  Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

5.     Hospitality is love in action.

I always had a pride that it is our family which is first in hospitality. I always boasted that no one can treat the guests like my parents and their siblings do. But recently I am dumbstruck with the way I was invited to my friend’s place. Really, no riches in the world can equate the warm welcome I received. Their home is small yet I was welcomed like a queen. They do not have a dining table but the food served was sumptuous by itself. They taught me that Hospitality is not inviting people into our perfect homes. It is about inviting people into our perfect hearts. Hospitality is love in action.

With all these lessons and also from a lifetime lesson which is “love is the alpha and omega of our existence” I am eagerly looking forward for 2016.

What did you learn this year? Share your thoughts. 

Acceptance

“Nothing comes easy in this world. Even SANTA comes with a clause”.

When such is the plight in the world the greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance. It is not only a gift to the person whom we accept. It is a gift we give ourselves too. Yes !  Our Happiness is directly proportional to acceptance and inversely proportional to expectations. The more we learn to accept the more people the more we tend to lead a happy life.

Things can be changed. Situations can be changed. But I would say we don’t have any right to change people. You should either accept people for who they are or start living without them in your life. Everyone is a version. There is nothing neither absurd nor normal. Normal is just an illusion. The spider web which seems normal to the spider  is a chaos to a fly. 

You must love a person in such a way that the person you love feels free. Acceptance is the only way to make them feel free.

Acceptance is the one true thing which everyone longs for and every individual craves for. For any relationship acceptance is often more important than understanding. When you accept people, they are real. There is no room for lie. No room to fake.

I have tried this. You would really be astounded to see how a person feels comfortable with you and how true a person can turn out to be. You would really see the better version of that person each day when you start accepting them for what they are.

As Wes Angelozzi rightly said  “Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest and truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered. “

Try this from today and let me know how it works J

I am Back !!

Hi Friends,

I feel great. I feel fresh. And I am back again to blow your mind:-P

I thank each one who sent me messages to write a post. You people awe me with your love :-)

I have so many stories to share with you. To start with here is a small story.

One day a mother with her 5 year old kid went to a grocery shop. This kid has very obedient that the shopkeeper was amazed with her behaviour. He opened a box full of chocolates and asked the kid to take as much as it wants from it.  The kid graciously denied to take chocolates and went behind her mother. The shopkeeper again forced the kid to take some chocolates. This time her mother too asked the kid to take chocolates which that uncle was offering. Mother was really surprised when the kid denied it second time even after when she herself allowed accepting the offer.

The Shopkeeper uncle was very much moved by obedience of this kid and he took a handful of chocolates and forced them to the kid’s hand. The Kid accepted this time with a thanking smile. While walking back home still unable to recover from the surprise, Mother asked “How come you are so obedient today? And why did you deny to take twice but accepted the third time? “

The Kid chuckled and said “I denied twice because that uncle asked me to take as much as I want. If I had taken the chocolates with my hands it would be very less .Now that uncle himself gave with his big hands so I could get more”. She grinned saying this.

This story has something to learn isn't it?. The story is short but it has a huge message . We wish for petty things and get disappointed when they don’t happen. Universe is generous. It gives you more than you desire .It gives what you deserve. Remember! You deserve more than you desire. Without knowing this we ponder upon petty things.

Accept life as it comes. Cosmos has a bigger plan for you than yours. Practice gratitude .Always count on your blessings. Never forget that Happiness is your natural state of being. 

You are Amazing and deserve every bit of wonderful thing that comes to you J . 

Nanbenda

Hi all,

Few people are always special in your life. It does not matter even when they don't consider you so. Friends fight just to make the relationship strong. Course of true love never did run smooth. It applies to friendship too :-) Today this post is dedicated to such a friend of mine :-)

There is that one person whom you will never get over

No matter how long it’s been

About such friend I am writing herein

Many Men have always been there in all stages

As brothers and cousins

You are My First and Best Male Friend

Whom I  will celebrate for ages.

I always admire you my friend

It is only today my thoughts are penned

I don’t remember the first day we met

But the first Birthday wish you made being oceans away

Is the one I can never forget.

I can never describe what your friendship means in my life

Your words and support for me is always rife

You stand by me in everything I do

In a unique way your hands would come even if I skid

I am rich with my Friends I agree

But you made me wealthy

You are there in my every laughter

When I cry you are the comforter

In my life for the friendship between a guy and a girl

Your friendship has a significant stride

You are a friend and a guide I boast with Pride.

I have made blunders out of Ignorance

Not just in one Instance

You can understand even the unsaid sorry

Because you showed me that this relationship is beyond words

 A Friend in Need is a friend indeed

Your friendship is the one I would concede and plead

Happy Birthday Sagaa!!

I am Sorry!

Hi Friends,

How are things going on?

I just don’t take relationships easily (poor me L).

Not only my relationship with others. I love watching people around me and their relationship with their loved ones as well J .

A relationship can never go long without words of love, actions which shows love,  few fights, many sorry , miss u and even  hate you :-P . These are part and parcel of love. Saying sorry doesn't always mean you are wrong.

There may be few instances where your words/actions would have hurt your loved ones. You would be totally unaware about that just because you did not do /say them with any intention of hurting them. But when you discover that you have hurt them, there is nothing wrong in asking for an apology though you did not mean to hurt. A simple and sincere apology does not harm you in anyway. In fact, it helps in keeping the relationship intact.

Having said this, Do you feel you are apologising for everything you say/ do unintentionally?

Say, Whatever you speak /do is ending up in hurting the other? Though you did not mean to hurt them in anyway? This may turn out like, you end up asking so many sorry for the mistake of saying /doing something. Too many sorry is not good for a relationship. Yes!! We end up asking sorry for everything we did unintentionally where even the word Sorry becomes so irritating to our loved ones.

Do take a break. Sit and think. Speak to each others. Resolve the differences from the root. Ask them how they have felt. Confess for your mistakes without ego. After this, tell them how you did or how unintentionally this was done where you did not even dream of hurting your loved ones. Make them understand that you feel sorry and if you are ready to change them for your loved ones, tell them that you would change. If that is something which you cannot change, ask them to bear that alone with you. Everyone has flaws. Agree that this may be your flaw, but still it is something which you cannot change. Mutually agree on few things and let the relationship live.

Answer me, Do u ask sorry simply for being you?  

The things you do in your own way and the words you speak just like that is making you to say a “Sorry”? Not just in one or two instances. In most of the cases, do you end up asking a sorry for being you? Then, you are in a risky relationship. There is something(let me term as “magic element”) with your loved ones, which is making you to ask so many sorry and that is making you to keep the relationship intact. That magic element, in other words is making you feel guilt of being yourself and trying to change your originality.

I am not against changing /adjusting for your loved ones. Changes can be for behaviour of yours, not on your character at all. You are what your Character is!! When you are changing your character, it is nothing but changing yourself completely. You cannot do this to you. “Your change” and the “magic element” which has made you to change are not permanent either. Understand this.

Ask Sorry. Mean it when you say that. A relationship needs it.

But if apologising has become your way of life, and if you are apologising for the very way you are!!It is high time to think whether the relationship is worth all these.

Because,

“You don’t need someone to complete you.

 You just need someone to accept you completely”

I AM in a Relationship !!

When my relatives ask me aren't you still married? I want to say that No! I am in relationship with myself;-P....I am weird like that ;-)

When I say I am in relationship with me, please don’t imagine wrongly okay!! I love myself and I feel complete by myself. I don’t need someone to fill my life. I am happy with ME , ME and ME again. I am with my friends, happy with my family and happy with my office. Everything around me is pleasant. Everyone around me is good.

I am a good person until you expect something from me:-P

Yes. The above line suits everyone. If you don’t expect anything from people around you then be sure you are going to be happy always. When expectation crops up, that is when the real problem starts.

Marriage life is full of vows. You cannot blame your spouse for expecting from you. He/she would have his/her own imagination about married life. Who knows in their wild imagination it can be like “the prince and the princess got married –and they lived happily ever after “tale. Everyone knows happily ever after marriages are only in fairy tales and movies.(These days real life stories are made as movies and hence chances of watching –Happy ever after marriage- movies also has come down !!)

Frankly speaking, this society and tradition has made the institution of marriage as a Mandatory one. There is no such thing like one cannot live without the other. Opinions vary. A person may not feel complete without other. When you are married you won’t feel complete without having a kid. We tend to add relationships to our circle and we feel we are not complete without our closed ones.

I am not against marriage. I am okay with the idea that you will always have a companion in that regard. But, is that sure that you will have your spouse as your companion? .Divorces would not have increased if that is the case. Fine! Are you sure enough that your spouse will live till you live in this world? Human life is uncertain. Who can guarantee you the life of others? Or even yours for this matter?

If you Love yourself. And if you are in relationship with yourself. If you feel you are complete by yourself then, you can love everyone and you would not expect anyone to complete your life and happiness. If marriage / relationships are your sole idea of complete happiness- then please go ahead J.Do what your heart says J . After all, that is the institution which has brought you and me into this world.

But always it is good to know that:

Being Single doesn't mean you are lonely

Being “together” doesn't mean you are happy.

(I read this somewhere and these lines.... still lingers in my mind)

It is TWO :-)

Hi Friends,

It has been quite sometime but today I wanted to post something in this space. A space where i can write anything i wish. A space where I can be as I am :-)

Yesterday was my Blog's 2 nd Anniversary !!!!!!!!!!! and I am soooooooo happy over this .

On this day I wanted to share a Pic which my friends (also the readers of this blog) gave me for this blog:

Certificate for my blog :-)

Readers sign for certification :-) :-)

I thank all of you for this certificate and your continuous support which is making me to write till date.

This certificate is so close to my heart because this was my Birthday Gift. The best Birthday gift i would say.

In these 2 years many things have changed.

People have changed !

Their perspective and priorities have changed!!

I have learnt a lot because of them and even I have changed. 

After all, Change is the only thing which cannot be changed isn't it ?

However they are, I love them and owe them a big thanks . For, they are the reason for what I am today.

I am glad that I could touch a string of people's life through this blog.I am glad that I started this blog.

Thank God!! I am a blogger :-) 

I thank each one of my readers for bearing with me these 2 years and I wish them all the best to bear me in coming years too :-P.

Happy night folks :-)

Giving is Happiness

No one has ever become poor by giving- Anne Frank.

I love giving. I love to give love. I love giving gifts out of love. People who receive them also love. But you know what? I love giving advice, I love giving lectures where people hate me giving these though:-P. Hate me or love me I will give to my heart’s content.

There is a saying only by giving –You are able to receive more than you already have. Needn't say I have heard long lectures and essay type advises which they list out as bulletins to score more points from me:-D

I digress. Giving is a pleasure. It is not how much you give matters, how much love you put into giving is what matters. Don’t give to get. You give just to inspire others to give. Your little gesture of love and touch people in many ways.

In childhood I was selfish. I would love to get. I love getting everything for me. The Happiness was so much in getting. As I grew, my brother (Praveen) was my first inspiration in giving. Whenever he saved or had money, how much ever the amount, he would gift people around him. Believe me, I did not plan this, but it happened that I was the one who was always hanging around him:-P. Obviously I was the one who received most gifts from him. He used to think and buy useful gifts for me. He never gives a greeting card or anything which expresses his love. He would gift which would be the need of the hour.

I will be happy to receive those things which he gifts. He would be happier than me just because he bought me the thing i needed. God! He has so much self needs. Leaving them behind he would buy for me and he would be happier than me. He always fascinates me with his selfless nature. Slowly I started practicing like him. I started gifting family and friends. Till then, I really did not know giving was so awesome than getting. I loved the happiness which I got from giving and started giving from then.

In recent years, I have got to know much of my friends Vakee, Sharadha  and Sowmya . They visit a friend’s place even when their friends are not there. They visit my home and spend time with my parents and siblings. That is something really I did not do all these years. They inspired me to give our time as gift to people who love us. Especially Sowmya. This girl loves giving her time for others. She loves to give every little time she has for others. Financially she helps or not but physically she gives her presence to people who need someone to share , to people who need someone to support them emotionally, to people who are longing for someone to be by their side.

The greatest gift you can give to someone is your TIME. Each of these friends has given me immense gifts by spending their time for me. Recently, I am in touch with a little one who spends so much time for me. He leaves every work he does when I call. He loves giving his time for me. Even if he has important works, without minding them, whenever I need him, he will be my side holding my hands tight. I cannot ask more than what this little one does me.

Now I understand why my Mamma and Papa (not only mine) feel happy when they sacrifice for us. They feel happiness in giving their kids the things they want, the life they want. There is always joy in giving. I thank everyone in my life for giving me everything I wanted since childhood.

So Dear Friends,

Give out Love, not obligation.

Give without strings attached.

Give from your heart.

Give to show that you care.

Give to make a difference.

Give for no reason at all.

Give a little if you cannot give a lot.

Give without being asked.

Give to those who need it more.

We make a LIVING with what we GET

But we make a LIFE with what we GIVE.

Finally ,

 The Image has a message isn't it? 

Possessiveness

The immature human mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - when in fact, they are completely incompatible; 

Possessiveness is needed in a relationship .But to what extent?

It depends on the person whom you love. If the person whom you love feels that your possessiveness is a sign of love and care, then it is fine. But if the person feels possessiveness as a bar on his/her freedom then please give them their space. Otherwise it will break the relationship.Letting them to be little free is always better than letting the relationship ruined. Giving Freedom always sounds good than getting Liberation.

You have a fear that someone might take away your loved ones from you. Possessiveness is nothing but the outcome of such fear.Understand that excessive possessiveness/jealousy doesn't mean how much you love them; rather it shows how much you dislike yourself. 

The image says a message. Look at the hands, it has sunlight and reflects love. As long as you gently keep your hands open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. But when you think of possessing it by closing your fingers around, you‘ll have only darkness and empty hand. This is how love is. When people love they try to posses and own them fully.They expect and demand. As a result just like the sunshine vanishing from the palm, love disappears. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. Let your loved ones to be free .Give them their space.

Possessiveness hinders your individuality

While Love cherishes each other’s individuality

Possessiveness is selfish

While love is selfless

Possessiveness control the other person

While Love understands and allows other person’s ideas to take shape

Finally wanna conclude by saying this :

Trust a person to that extent where he/she feel guilty to cheat you and care for a person to that extent where he/she fears to lose you.